The True Meaning of Confession – Donna Quesada Schollhammer

Post Views: 214

by Donna Quesada Schollhammer: During spiritual retreats, we were often asked to begin the day in small circles

of about five or six people per circle. While conscious “sharing circles” were the usual way we began these retreats, this particular one was different… we were to share a truth in a confessional manner.

More specifically, the instructions this time were to purge ourselves of something that was weighing us down. It could be a story that we no longer believed, an action that we now regret, a habit that isn’t serving us well, a decision that we took because of someone else’s expectations, negative self-talk, a grudge that we’ve yet to let go of, or other things of this nature.

Of course, we rant about things and talk about our gripes over tea with our friends—and this can be helpful and restorative, as well—but when you’re in a sharing circle, the parameters are set up to create the conditions for an experience that is deeply transformative.

One of the guideline was “No Cross Talking.” This is already very different from ordinary, everyday exchanges. If you pay attention to random conversations at dinner tables among family, in coffee shops between friends, or in any social circle, notice the commonality of passionate interrupting. It’s accepted as normal. So, in a sharing circle, in which full presence is given to you when it’s your turn to talk, it feels serious, and the silent attention around it bestows a sense of respect to the speaker and to the whole act of sharing.

Deep listening is a dedicated art and skill that is hardly ever practiced in everyday chitchat. And the feeling of being “heard” is itself, profoundly healing.

Another “rule” is that no one tries to “fix” your burden. No advice is given when the speaker is finished. It simply moves to the next person. Furthermore, what you share and the way you share it are yours… if you cry, that’s okay. Just be genuine and truthful. The listeners are holding space for you. It is your journey. And everyone else’s, too.

We were exploring the deeper meaning of confession, and how it heals our spirit. In everyday usage, the word “confession,” is loaded with morality, dogma and guilt. But in this context, it carries a different essence. It has nothing to do with guilt.

The “confessions” were never about things that were “wrong,” but rather, things in our lives that were out of alignment with our truth.

In some cases, it was the release of certain things we tell ourselves, like “I’m not good enough,” or a feeling of resentment towards someone. These are examples of burdens that weigh us down.

When we have yet to release these burdens, the weight takes many forms, from living with the feeling that we are not actualizing our own dreams or aspirations, to actual depression. Consider the meaning of the word depression… To be pressed, sunken, or weighed down: De-pressed. We tend to break down in many ways when we fall out of sync with our truth.

I have always remembered something our teacher said about the true meaning of confession… “If you burn things externally, then they won’t burn internally.” A poetic way of saying that the truth shall set you free.

Freedom in this sense, is the lightness of being that follows the act of purging. And purging can be done in many ways. You don’t have to go to a retreat. Even journaling can serve this purpose when done in the spirit and with the intention of release. What’s really happening is that you are letting go of that which is costing you energy.

To be clear, by taking it out of your system—whether through writing or verbal sharing— you are removing the weight from your soul. This is why forgiveness is so important… it’s part of the process of purging. Some traditions say that without the willingness to absolve yourself in this way, the weight is so heavy that your soul isn’t fully in your body.

The process of letting go really is a purification. You are recalling the energy of your spirit… taking back the lost bits, letting go of the bits that don’t belong, and thus becoming whole again. Becoming YOU again.

Our teacher went as far as to say that this is really the true spiritual journey, which is why when you embark on a spiritual path, it often happens that you make big changes in your life. With increased levels of awareness and self-knowledge, people often end up changing jobs, friends, or even partners. You are bravely facing the truth of who you really are and what you really want, and owning that truth.

You are aligning with your true self. You are coming into your integrity with who you are.