Keeping the Heart Open
It can be a great challenge to keep the heart open when one lives alone, has no partner, children, or animals, and is not engaged in work that nourishes the heart. When we are surrounded by a loved one, partners, children, grandchildren, relatives, friends, colleagues, or animals, it is easier to find and sustain love. Most of us are used to having someone or something in our environment that we can love and that loves us in return.
To experience love in the heart, we need to feel love. It is usually directed toward others: family, friends, or animals. But some consciously choose to be alone in order to learn to love themselves. It is one of the most difficult things we face to find unconditional love that is not directed outward, but inward.
To be enough for oneself, despite loneliness. Not to rush into the next relationship in the hope that another person will love us in the way we long to be loved. To learn to stand alone, without having to direct love toward someone else in order to feel it.
It is in such circumstances that we may begin to ask:
What am I looking for in an intimate relationship?
Why do I sometimes become so dependent on another that I lose myself?
Why do I seek to please in order to be worthy of love?
What is it that I feel when I love and am loved?
When we are alone, we can no longer be followers or dependent on others to fulfill the feeling of love. Being alone invites us to take our attention away from others and turn it toward ourselves. There we must find the love that lives within and open the heart in our own ways. Love does not come from outside; the spark, the feeling, comes from within.
Love is a kind of lifeline, and we need to find ways to awaken it if, for whatever reason, we have chosen to be alone. We need to find something that gives us joy, pleasure, and a sense of freedom in life, something that inspires us in what is enjoyable and creative. If we do not feel it within ourselves, we may begin to experience a sense of meaninglessness. The spark that drives us forward is love and the joy it awakens.
When we choose to be alone, we therefore need to find ways to love and nourish the heart. There are many ways to do so. If we do not have children, grandchildren, or animals, we can still do various things to ignite this spark of love within us.
It can often be very rewarding to watch people walking with animals, to watch wildlife documentaries, or simply to look at photographs of animals. In the eyes of animals, unconditional love is reflected; they teach us to love without conditions. When we look at a mother with her offspring, selfless love and protective warmth shine from her eyes.
Animals can also be deeply loyal and affectionate toward their owners, and often one can read endless love and devotion in their eyes. Simply watching animals express unconditional love through their gaze can awaken this feeling within ourselves. We can also watch films that evoke a similar feeling. But whatever the circumstances, the practice is always the same: to ignite the feeling of love within.
