The Spiritual Side of Letting Go: Why Holding On Can Keep You Stuck

We often find ourselves carrying an invisible burden during our existence on earth. We cling on to our self-image, expectations, material possessions, relationships, emotions, and even our past, believing that it’ll keep us safe or that we will find love and peace.

Yet, somewhere deep down, we still feel that something’s missing. There’s some misalignment happening deep within us. If you look at all those old spiritual traditions, from the ancient Vedic era to the Buddhist teachings and the Gnostic wisdom, everything has told us that one particular truth: the more we try to hold on to our material possessions and relationships, the more our suffering will be.

The Illusion of Possession

When you look in the mirror, whom do you see? Do you see your body and think, this is who I am? And when you look at your family, at your possessions, your achievements, your social status, do you think, these are mine? I have achieved them, they define me? But I want you to look a little bit deeper than this.

The body we inherit is just temporary clothing. Just as we discard our worn-out clothes, we put on new ones. Similarly, our eternal soul simply moves on from our physical forms to another body without getting touched or affected by the physical changes and problems in the current body.

Think of it this way. If you’re walking through a beautiful forest and you see someone who is gathering some dry leaves and sticks from the ground to burn them, would you cry in pain and say, “They’re burning me? They’re trying to carry me away to burn”? No, of course not. You simply watch the person calmly, knowing that those sticks and leaves are completely separate from you.

Your feelings, your physical body, your perception of your surroundings, your habits, your thoughts, and even your ordinary human consciousness are just like those sticks and leaves in the forest. They’re not the real you. And neither do they belong to you. When you identify and wrap your entire existence around things that are constantly changing and decaying, you are signing up for grief and anxiety by default. You’ll only find real happiness once you achieve the true wisdom of knowing that these are the parts of your life. And you realize with clarity that this is not your true self. This is not you. This is not your existence.

Craving – A Tangled Net That Traps You

Do you ever wonder why it is so hard to let go? It’s because of a very powerful and unseen force within you. And that force is nothing but ‘craving.’

Craving acts like your master. It hijacks the mind. And it feels like a sticky net wraps around your heart. It’ll make it look like your whole world is tangled like a ball of yarn. And you are inside that world trapped in an endless cycle of worry. Your mind, unable to understand what’s happening, will just run after your five senses and try to make sense of things when everything is all tangled up in your life.

The hunger caused by this craving needs to be understood on a deeper level. You need to get out of your mind and see it just like a witness, an awareness. When you have a desire for anything, you will put up conditions that if this happens, then I’ll be happy. If that happens, I’ll be happy. And you’ll start telling yourself that unless this person loves me back, or unless I acquire this amount of money, or unless this specific thing happens in my life, I won’t be at peace. I won’t be happy. This kind of attachment is the breeding ground of fear. The fear of losing what you have. The fear of not getting something in life. The fear of that uncertainty. And when there’s fear, there’s also anger. They’re like twin brothers.

When fear and anger come together, they form a dark cloud of delusion in your mind. You lose your spiritual direction. You’ll start chasing mirages in a hot desert, burning in thirst, and never able to find water nearby. That’s what happens when you give in to your cravings.

To break this spell, you must first start living in the present without going back to your past regrets or your future uncertainties. The past is all gone. The future hasn’t arrived yet. And your present is the only thing where you can act, where you have a connection with the divine power resting within you. And once you start living in the beauty of now, that craving reduces.

You Are Not Losing It. You’re Actually Finding It by Letting Go

A lot of people think that if I let go of my desires, my life will become dull and meaningless. I will just be torturing myself.

Letting go is not self-torture by any means. It is just a trick played by your ego into making you believe that it’s torture. In fact, letting go is one of the highest forms of spiritual accomplishment one can achieve. Think of it like this. You have a few dirty pennies in your hand. You’re holding on to those pennies because you think they hold value, as it’s money. Then I come up to you and I tell you that I’ll give you some pure gold instead. In return, all I need are your dirty pennies. This is exactly what letting go is. It’s finding something far more valuable, of infinite value, instead of those dirty pennies.

When you let go of your anger, your pride, your greed, or your constant need to control, you’re not making your life dull. You’re not self-harming yourself. You’re not self-sabotaging your life. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. You’re actually clearing all the clutter in your life for something way more blissful, for your soul to finally shine.

In order to find your peace, you do not have to go to a cave and meditate. In your day-to-day life, you can simply start the practice and it’s not rocket science. You can carry out your duties as a son, husband, or friend. Take care of your loved ones, work hard to earn money but do it in a beautiful, nonchalant way. Perform your actions without getting attached to them. Offer them as an offering to the divine without worrying about your results. Once you stop expecting a reward for everything you do, you’re suddenly free of any success or failure, praise or blame. You remain calm, balanced, deeply happy in your inner state. Just like the lotus leaf on the water, untouched by the droplets of the world.

Be a Witness in the World

The secret of life to finding profound peace is to be a witness to the world. By witness, I mean acting as a “passerby.” When you travel to a foreign country, you enjoy the city. You enjoy beautiful grand buildings, gardens, parks, malls. But you do not carry those buildings back home when you fly back from your vacation. You do not fight with the locals who own the streets. You simply observe, appreciate, and tell yourself, I’m just a traveler. I’m a passerby. I’m here to witness the beauty of this city. That’s it. Live your life on earth the exact same way. Your soul is on a pilgrimage on earth.

You do not have to try to build a permanent home in this world. Because this world is not permanent. Everything is supposed to change. Not just your world. Not just the people around you. Not just your situation. But even the earth itself. Think how many times the earth completely wiped out almost all living organisms, fell into an ice age, and came back with new life forms.

You need to be open in your heart. Be open to give all the love. Be open to help people. Be open to the world around you. And when you are open, you’re filled with light. And when you’re closed and guarded, you’re filled with darkness. It’s simply that. And when you’re open, you should not have any expectations of the results. And once you have no expectations, then you can let go of things quite easily.

Letting Go Is Easier Once You Understand Its Form

You have a magnificent power inside you. It’s still sleeping, but it’s still there. You need to understand that it’s there. It is the divine presence. The breath of life. When you wake up this magnificent power, then you become the most powerful being who is not affected by worldly affairs. You become immune to all the sufferings of life. But if you ignore it, then you will be stuck in the loop of suffering and attachment. So, your only answer to finding that peace which is already there inside you is to let go and move on.